Passion at Work Is a Double-Edged Sword (And How to Hold It by the Handle, Not the Blade)

Clearly not me, since he has hair

We’re told to “follow your passion” like it’s a career cheat code.

Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.

Find your calling.

Do what you’d do for free.

It sounds inspiring. And sometimes, it is true: passion can make work feel meaningful, energizing, and deeply satisfying.

But there’s a shadow side that doesn’t get talked about enough.

Passion at work is a double-edged sword. Held correctly, it can cut through apathy, fear, and mediocrity. Held wrong, it cuts you—your health, your relationships, your boundaries, and even your performance.

This isn’t a call to care less. It’s a call to care wiser.

The Bright Edge: Why Passion Is Powerful

Let’s start with the good news: passion is not the enemy.

1. Passion keeps you going when things are hard

When you actually care about what you’re building, you can push through the boring parts: the documentation, the messy legacy systems, the political nonsense. Passion creates stamina. It’s why some people can do deep work for hours and others are clock-watching at 2:17 p.m.

2. Passion improves the quality of your work

When you’re invested, you notice details other people miss. You think more about edge cases, customer impact, long-term consequences. Passion often shows up as craftsmanship: “this isn’t just done, it’s done right.”

3. Passion makes you more resilient to setbacks

Passionate people bounce back faster from failure. A bad launch, a tough review, a missed promotion hurts—but if you care about the mission, it’s easier to treat it as a data point instead of a verdict on your worth.

4. Passion is contagious

When someone genuinely cares, people feel it. It can pull a team forward. Customers trust you more. Leaders notice your ownership. Passion, when grounded, is a quiet magnet.

All of that is real.

And yet.

The Dark Edge: When Passion Starts Cutting You

Passion becomes dangerous when it slips from “I care a lot” into “I am my work.”

Here’s how that shows up.

1. Your identity fuses with your job

If you’re passionate, it’s easy to start thinking:

“If this project fails, I am a failure.” “If my manager is unhappy, I am not good enough.” “If this company doesn’t appreciate me, maybe I’m not valuable.”

Passion can blur the line between what you do and who you are. Then criticism isn’t feedback on work; it’s an attack on your identity. That’s emotionally exhausting and makes you defensive instead of curious.

2. You become easy to exploit

Harsh truth: workplaces love passionate people—sometimes for the wrong reasons.

If you’re the “I’ll do whatever it takes” person:

You get the late-night emergencies. You pick up slack from weaker teammates. You “volunteer” for stretch work no one else wants. You feel guilty saying no because “this matters.”

The line between commitment and self-betrayal gets blurry. Passion, unmanaged, can turn you into free overtime wrapped in a nice attitude.

3. Burnout hides in plain sight

Passion can mask burnout for a long time because you like the work. You tell yourself:

“I’m just busy right now.” “It’ll calm down after this release / quarter / crisis.” “I don’t need a break; I just need to be more efficient.”

Meanwhile, the signals are there:

You’re always tired, even after weekends. Small setbacks feel like huge emotional blows. You resent people who seem more “chill.” You’re working more but enjoying it less.

By the time you admit you’re burned out, you’re far past the “fix it with a vacation” stage.

4. Passion narrows your vision

When you really care about a project or idea, you can get tunnel vision:

You dismiss risks because “we’ll figure it out.” You take feedback as an attack, not input. You see other teams as blockers, not partners. You overestimate how much others care about your problem.

Passion can make you worse at strategy if it stops you from seeing tradeoffs clearly. Being too attached to a specific solution can blind you to better ones.

5. Emotional volatility becomes the norm

The more passionate you are, the bigger the emotional swings:

Feature shipped? You’re high for a week. Leadership cancels it? You’re crushed for a month. Good performance review? You’re invincible. Reorg? You’re spiraling.

Your nervous system never stabilizes. Work becomes a rollercoaster controlled by people who don’t live inside your head.

The Subtle Trap: Passion as Justification

One of the most dangerous patterns is this:

“I’m exhausted, anxious, and on edge—but that’s the price of caring.”

No. That’s not the price of caring. That’s the price of caring without boundaries.

Passion is not supposed to destroy your sleep, wreck your relationships, or make you hate yourself when something slips. That’s not noble. That’s mismanagement.

You wouldn’t let a junior teammate run production unmonitored with no guardrails. But most passionate people let their emotions do exactly that.

Holding the Sword by the Handle: Healthier Ways to Be Passionate

So what does healthy passion at work look like?

It’s not about caring less. It’s about caring in a way that doesn’t consume you.

Here are some practical shifts.

1. Separate “me” from “my output”

Mentally, you want this frame:

“This work matters to me.” “I’m proud of the effort, decisions, and integrity I bring.” “The outcome is influenced by many factors, some outside my control.”

You can care deeply about quality and impact while still treating outcomes as feedback, not final judgment.

A useful self-check:

“If this project got canceled tomorrow, would I still believe I’m capable and valuable?”

If the honest answer is no, your identity is too fused to the work.

2. Define your own success metrics

When you’re passionate, it’s easy to adopt everyone else’s scoreboard: exec praise, promotion velocity, launch glamour.

Build a second scoreboard that’s yours:

Did I learn something hard this month? Did I push for a decision that needed to be made? Did I support my team in a way I’m proud of? Did I hold a boundary that protected my health?

Those are wins too. They just don’t show up on the OKR dashboard.

3. Make a “portfolio of meaning”

If work is your only source of meaning, every wobble at work feels like an earthquake.

Create a portfolio:

Relationships (family, partners, close friends) Health (sleep, movement, mental hygiene) Personal interests (hobbies, side projects, learning) Contribution outside work (mentoring, community, parenting, etc.)

Passion at work is safest when it’s one important part of your life, not the entire scaffolding holding your self-worth up.

4. Put boundaries on the calendar, not in your head

“I should have better boundaries” is useless if your calendar is a disaster.

Concrete examples:

Block “no meeting” focus time and defend it. Choose 1–2 late nights a week max and keep the rest sacred. Decide in advance when you’ll check email/Slack after hours (if at all). Put workouts, therapy, or walks in your calendar as real appointments.

If it doesn’t exist in time and space, it’s just a wish.

5. Watch your internal narrative

Passion often comes with spicy self-talk:

“If I don’t fix this, everything will fall apart.” “They have no idea how much I’m carrying.” “I can’t slow down; people are counting on me.”

Sometimes that’s true. A lot of times, it’s your brain cosplaying as the lone hero.

Try swapping narratives:

From “I’m the only one who cares” → to “I care a lot, and it’s my job to bring others along, not martyr myself.” From “If I don’t say yes, I’m letting the team down” → to “If I say yes to everything, I’m guaranteeing lower quality for everyone.”

6. Be transparent with your manager (to a point)

You don’t need to pour your entire soul out, but you can say:

“I care a lot about this space and tend to over-extend. I want to stay sustainable. Can we align on where you most want me to go above and beyond, and where ‘good enough’ is genuinely good enough?” “Here’s what I’m currently carrying. If we add X, what do you want me to drop or downgrade?”

Good managers want passionate people to last. If your manager doesn’t… that’s useful information about whether this is the right place to invest your energy.

7. Build a small “reality check” circle

Have 1–3 people who know you well and can tell when your passion is tipping into self-harm. Give them permission to say:

“You’re over-owning this. This isn’t all on you.” “You’re talking like the job is your entire worth.” “You haven’t talked about anything but work in weeks. What’s going on?”

Passion distorts perspective from the inside. You need outside eyes.

The Goal Isn’t to Be Less Passionate

The real goal is:

Strong passion. Clear boundaries. Flexible identity.

You’re allowed to care deeply and still:

Log off. Say no. Change teams or companies. Admit you’re tired. Choose yourself over “the mission” sometimes.

You do your best work when you’re engaged, not when you’re depleted. Passion is fuel, not proof of loyalty.

So don’t dull the sword.

Just learn to hold it by the handle.

This post was written with help from ChatGPT 5.1

Seven Weeks with a Legend: How Scott Pelluer’s Mentorship Transformed My Son Matthew’s Football Journey and Life

Today’s post is a very personal one for me. Scott Pelluer, a former linebacker at Washington State and in the NFL, died at age 64. But Scott was much more than that to my son Matthew – Scott had been a private football coach for him from late April this year up until just before he passed, and the impact he had on Matthew during that time is something he’ll carry with him the rest of his life.

Matthew’s dream is to play college football, and he’d never played tackle football or even worn a helmet until he started training in earnest in April this year. As his dad, I wanted to support his dream and decided to find a private coach to work with him to help prepare him for training camp in June. I found Scott through an online website where he was advertising his services almost by accident when another coach Matthew worked with was going to be unavailable for some time – Scott later told me he didn’t get any other business from that site after I found him on it. After a few times playing voicemail tag, we connected and set a time for him to work with Matthew at Skyline High School in Sammamish, where Scott had once coached as a defensive coordinator.

Scott and Matthew hit it off immediately – it was clear Scott loved to coach football, and Matthew is someone who has always gotten feedback as being very coachable. Each session would start and end the same way, and often times he and Matthew would end up just talking in between drills about any number of things, including his time in the NFL and how he used to play catch with Peyton Manning when he was just a kid while he was on the Saints playing with his father Archie.

One session led to another, and another, and soon we were seeing Scott 3-4 times a week leading up to Matthew’s first ever spring training camp as an incoming freshman at Redmond High School. He encouraged Matthew to attend various college camps, as he would learn something at every camp he attended, and he told me repeatedly how much he loved working with Matthew and how strongly he felt he was going to be a “special” player. Matthew took his advice and was one of the youngest participants at the camp held by my alma mater, Temple University, in late May, and Scott texted me throughout to see how he did.

Having someone like Scott believe in his abilities meant the world to Matthew – he fed off that type of feedback and worked harder each and every time they met, and it was clear Scott had a genuine affection for Matthew as he went out of his way to tell me as often as possible he loved working with him and would work with him any time we wanted. He even urged us to attend a camp at USC so his son Peyton could see Matthew on the field. That didn’t mean he took it easy on him – on the contrary, he would push him harder as he progressed, and Matthew still has the dollar he won from Scott after completing the end of session one-handed catches of a lacrosse ball he’d have him do sitting on the mantle in our family room.

Once Matthew’s summer camp started in June, we only saw Scott one last time, on June 11th and it was a shorter session because he’d already been working a few other kids that Sunday like he always did. I had been texting him updates about how his progress had gone at his request, and at the end of their session he promised Matthew he would come watch one of his practices before the month was out. He told him how proud he was of the progress he’d made in such a short period of time and though I continued to text with him until the day of his heart attack, that was the last time Matthew ever got to see him.

Despite dealing with a nagging injury to his hip flexor, Matthew had a great camp and impressed the coaches with his work ethic and coachability. He has a legitimate shot of being on varsity come the fall, but whether or not that actually happens, there’s no way he would have had the success he did without those seven weeks he worked with Scott where he not only learned how to become a better football player, but he also learned how to believe in himself.

Yesterday, Matthew was ready to test out his hip flexor and see if he was finally at 100%, and we did the ladder drills and hurdle drills he’d done with Scott each session to do so. It was obvious after the first run he finally felt like himself again after over two weeks of being a step slow. As he ran back to the ladder and tossed me the ball, he had a huge smile on his face after I told him “Nice catch, young buck”. I’m sure Scott would have agreed.

Matthew’s journey on the gridiron is far from over, but the time he spent with Scott has already shaped him in remarkable ways. Those seven weeks weren’t just about football; they were about building character, fostering self-belief, and learning life lessons from a man who was more than just a coach.

Scott may have left us, but his teachings, spirit, and influence live on in every catch Matthew makes, every victory he achieves, every hurdle he overcomes. That’s the mark of a great mentor – even when they’re gone, their lessons stay with us.

So here’s to Scott, the former WSU great and NFL linebacker who left an indelible impact on my son. While his passing is a profound loss, his teachings and the memories they forged together will live on in Matthew’s journey. The field may be missing a great coach, but the game and Matthew’s heart will forever carry his legacy.

August 28, 2023 Update – Matthew officially made varsity as a freshman and will be playing LT for them in their first game of the season this Friday. He will also be playing TE and DE for JV each week. He is wearing Scott’s number 47 this season in tribute to him.